What's On Your Mind?

"What's on your mind?"

A penny for your thoughts.  And that's the million dollar question.  It's the question Facebook asks me every time I open up the application, and its the question that made the inventors rich.  What I've found, though, is that the thoughts that dominate most people's days are pretty mundane.  Especially on the weekend.  I know.  I'm a loser for even looking at Facebook on the weekend.  So this weekend I'm writing about it instead.

It bothers me, though, that with a daily opportunity to tell the world what's going on in our lives, so often we use it for self-promotion, the dreaded "face-bragging", or a general commentary of our daily activity.  The worst kinds of messages are the ones that don't say anything at all.  For example,

"Praying for the Smith family today after the horrible tragedy that occurred last night."

What?  There are a couple of problems with this post.  First of all, I don't know who the Smith family is, but most importantly, I'm suddenly sad that something awful has happened to them, yet I have no idea what it is, and worse, I'm powerless to do anything about it.  And so...there is a litany of comments that go something like this:

"So sad."
"Yikes!  What happened?"
"Is everyone OK?"
"Is there anything we can do?"
"What's going on?"

Usually, the "friend"  doesn't respond to all these questions, and we are left wondering why he posted it in the first place.  Does he just want to see how many people will comment? And what about the Smith family themselves?  It's a mystery, but they are strangely silent on this day.   I guess, dear friend, they don't want you to publicly share their private pain with 548 of your closest friends.

I love, though, that everyday on that site I come face-to-face with a community filled with insight, awareness, and inspiration.  As Facebook has evolved, so have the posts.

Three years ago, when Gavin introduced me to it, he highlighted one friend's page:

"Joe Jones is... bored."
"Joe Jones is... taking a nap."
"Joe Jones is... craving a hamburger and french fries."
"Joe Jones is... going to work."

Joe Jones is not his real name.  But since that day, Joe Jones actually met a nice girl and got married and has grown up a lot.  I know all of this, of course, because I have been following him on Facebook.


At the time, I think my response was, "And why do I care?"  Of course, I created a profile and Joe Jones became one of my first friends.  And everyday (sometimes several times a day) I would look at my News Feed and see not only what Joe Jones was doing (or not doing) but hundreds of other people as well.  Who knows the countless hours I, dare I say it, ...wasted..., doing this?

Facebook brings out the best in me.

Facebook brings out the worst in me.

For starters, I smile every time I see a precious photo of someone's child or learn of someone overcoming obstacles to reach goals.  But when I hear of people's fabulous vacations, sometimes it seems like they are saying directly to me:  "Are you jealous?"  Yes, yes I am.  I am very, very jealous.

Or how about when someone posts what they're having for dinner?  It seems what they're really saying is, "Hey, don't you wish you were invited?"  Sorry, pal.  Not tonight.  Not ever.

If I had still been in college when Facebook came around, I think I would have been mortified that my parents, though three hundred miles away, could stalk me there any time day or night.  Even now, at 37, I'm sometimes horrified by the thought.  And I have nothing to hide.  If I would let five hundred friends (strangers?) see what I'm doing everyday and speak into my life, why am I hesitant to allow my own parents to do the same thing?

What's on my  mind doesn't seem so significant when shared with strangers, but the people who love me who see into my heart, that just seems so intimate--almost like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  Remember, how she didn't want to kiss on the lips?  Too personal, too intimate.  Ewww....

Words are powerful.  When you share what's on your mind, consider this: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building other us according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Ephesians 4:29

I wholeheartedly believe in social media, but with great power comes great responsibility.  In a venue where teenagers have cultivated mortal enemies and adults scandalous relationships, we all would be wise to heed the words found in Proverbs 12:18:  "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

What are you doing to promote love and foster a spirit of shared friendship on the social media sites that represent you?  In my opinion, if you can make me think or make me laugh, you got the words exactly right.