"Go get your Rapunzel costume," I told my youngest daughter this morning.
"No, Mommy. I'm not wearing it. I want to be a cheerleader today."
I was mildly irritated. I spent a pretty penny on Rapunzel, and this was the second day in a row Cari Jill had had the opportunity to get our money's worth. Instead, she decided to be something else, simply because she could.
Because Rapunzel was for Halloween.
And anyway she couldn't dance in Rapunzel.
And she didn't want to use bobby pins to attach the wig to her head.
And it was hard to buckle the car seat in that big dress.
And she didn't want to step on the hem during the school's parade of costumes.
Obviously, she had really thought through the costume dilemma.
As the little cowboys, pirates, firefighters, princesses, doctors, and cheerleaders filed past, I smiled and waved. Their precious costumes brought back fond memories of my older children and my childhood. Dressing up and pretending to be something awesome made for adventurous times.
My rugrats began planning their elaborate ensembles at the beginning of September. And it's no wonder. Almost as soon as summer ended, the dentist, teachers, neighbors, and even the family exterminator began asking them what they planned to be. Similarly, when someone meets my kids for the first time, a common question is often, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And now that I'm a grown-up one of the first questions strangers ask me is, "So, what do you do"?
I hate that question, and it's not because I don't have an answer. I certainly DO! I'm an investment manager, mentor, professor, personal chef, innovator, and change agent. What I do on a daily basis impacts the future of infinite generations. So it's not what I DO that leaves me stuttering; it's explaining what I do. You see, what I do is intentional, intuitive, purposeful, and most of all, reflective.
Notice that I said REFLECTIVE, not reflexive.
How we think and what we think about determines who we will become in a world that defines us primarily by what we do.
Our thoughts are private, secret waterfalls. They build strength as information assimilation accumulates. Our dreams can alter our belief system to direct the progress of our lives. That's why our family spends time talking about the issues that affect us. We ask questions like:
Why?
How?
Tell me more.
Do we always get back an answer that we like? Heck, sometimes I don't get an answer at all! But I'll take a mumble or a grunt for now. These kids are my work in progress. It's unacceptable to say, "I don't know." That phrase is akin to "I don't think". And I know that's not true. Kids are always thinking. Sometimes, I bet their little noggins are whispering, "My mother's a lunatic." Oh, well, I'll take it. At least they're thinking.
Our brain consists of about one billion neurons. Each neuron forms about 1,000 connections to other neurons, amounting to more than a trillion connections. If each neuron could only help store a single memory, running out of space would be a problem. You might have only a few gigabytes of storage space, similar to the space in an iPod or a USB flash drive. Yet neurons combine so that each one helps with many memories at a time, exponentially increasing the brain’s memory storage capacity to something closer to around 2.5 petabytes (or a million gigabytes). For comparison, if your brain worked like a digital video recorder in a television, 2.5 petabytes would be enough to hold three million hours of TV shows. You would have to leave the TV running continuously for more than 300 years to use up all that storage. (http://blog.growingleaders.com/leadership/help-my-brain-is-full/) Wow! There's no excuse for not being able to think!
Our kids can be anything they want, but I just want them to be able to think. I want them to work hard to understand the world, to discover ways to make it better, to be brave enough to implement their ideas, and strong enough to innovate when failure prevails. Cari Jill changed her mind about her costume. I'm glad. She just proved to me that she knows how to think. She's not afraid to share her opinion. She's human. Her ability to DO is magnified because of her capacity to THINK.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Why Wait?
What does "WAITING" mean to you? When you hear that word, do you think of long lines at the grocery store, Christmas morning, or a watched-pot of (almost) boiling water? Waiting means something different to each and every one of us. Whether we're waiting for a medical lab report or for the alarm that wakes us, the tick-tock of the clock serves one very important purpose: It reminds us that we are not in control.
Have you ever prayed a prayer to God and felt like he just ignored you? The clock's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months ticked by, and that's literally all you heard--the empty sound of a silent God? It's frustrating to find yourself opening up to God only to find that he doesn't reciprocate your efforts.
Reading Lamentations tonight, I came across this verse: He has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked. (3:9)
If I had stopped there, I might have been tempted to say, "Yeah, you tell 'em, Jeremiah! Blame it on the big guy! I feel your pain." But luckily, I didn't. I kept on reading, and I'm so glad I did:
Lamentations 3:21-26: Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.
Waiting is hard, to be sure. When I read through these verses, though, I gained a new perspective on why we wait. Waiting definitely produces perseverance and character and hope and all those other wonderful qualities that we read about in the New Testament, but beyond that, our trust in God is strengthened. I like to see progress. I like change that can be measured. When I have an idea, I want to see immediate results. I have a hard time being patient with what God is doing in me. And unfortunately, he has a whole lot of work to do! That last verse says that the Lord is good to those who search for them. Searching takes time. Searching requires a map. Searching can be frustrating.
In the early 1970s, a famous professor from Stanford University conducted an experiment with four year old children to test their ability to delay gratification. Each child was given a marshmallow, then the professor left the room and told the child not to eat the marshmallow. If they could wait until the professor returned, then the child could have two marshmallows. You can imagine a little four-year old sitting at the table staring at that lonely marshmallow in front of him. How tempting to eat it! How sugary and delicious it looked! If he ate the marshmallow before the professor returned, then he would not get a second marshmallow. It's no wonder that the children who were able to delay gratification in the simple marshmallow experiment grew up to be more successful adults.
And so it is as we wait on God. He's our professor. We can eat the marshmallow now. It's tempting. After all, how do we know that we can trust him to do what he says and bring two marshmallows when he returns? That's why we wait. We wait and we see. God shows up and we see. We wait and we remember. God showed up! All that waiting is time spent building a track record of events that fill the gaps between the tick and the tock, between the "Will he?" and "Why isn't he?" questions that dominate our prayer life.
Like a little child, God sometimes has to say to me: "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts....And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." (Isaiah 55:8). Those words are hard to swallow. They're the equivalent of my mom chiding, "Because I said so, that's why!" But I take comfort in knowing this (Ephesians 3:20): "....By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
Yes, sometimes it seems like God places a stone wall on a crooked path. But maybe that's because I'm not praying the right prayer. I'm thankful for a God who knows better than I do what's best for me. I can trust him because he has shown himself to me in times past. Waiting is never easy, but when I think about what I can accomplish on my own, and what God can accomplish through me, I'm willing to wait. Two marshmallows are always better than one.
Have you ever prayed a prayer to God and felt like he just ignored you? The clock's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months ticked by, and that's literally all you heard--the empty sound of a silent God? It's frustrating to find yourself opening up to God only to find that he doesn't reciprocate your efforts.
Reading Lamentations tonight, I came across this verse: He has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked. (3:9)
If I had stopped there, I might have been tempted to say, "Yeah, you tell 'em, Jeremiah! Blame it on the big guy! I feel your pain." But luckily, I didn't. I kept on reading, and I'm so glad I did:
Lamentations 3:21-26: Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.
Waiting is hard, to be sure. When I read through these verses, though, I gained a new perspective on why we wait. Waiting definitely produces perseverance and character and hope and all those other wonderful qualities that we read about in the New Testament, but beyond that, our trust in God is strengthened. I like to see progress. I like change that can be measured. When I have an idea, I want to see immediate results. I have a hard time being patient with what God is doing in me. And unfortunately, he has a whole lot of work to do! That last verse says that the Lord is good to those who search for them. Searching takes time. Searching requires a map. Searching can be frustrating.
In the early 1970s, a famous professor from Stanford University conducted an experiment with four year old children to test their ability to delay gratification. Each child was given a marshmallow, then the professor left the room and told the child not to eat the marshmallow. If they could wait until the professor returned, then the child could have two marshmallows. You can imagine a little four-year old sitting at the table staring at that lonely marshmallow in front of him. How tempting to eat it! How sugary and delicious it looked! If he ate the marshmallow before the professor returned, then he would not get a second marshmallow. It's no wonder that the children who were able to delay gratification in the simple marshmallow experiment grew up to be more successful adults.
And so it is as we wait on God. He's our professor. We can eat the marshmallow now. It's tempting. After all, how do we know that we can trust him to do what he says and bring two marshmallows when he returns? That's why we wait. We wait and we see. God shows up and we see. We wait and we remember. God showed up! All that waiting is time spent building a track record of events that fill the gaps between the tick and the tock, between the "Will he?" and "Why isn't he?" questions that dominate our prayer life.
Like a little child, God sometimes has to say to me: "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts....And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." (Isaiah 55:8). Those words are hard to swallow. They're the equivalent of my mom chiding, "Because I said so, that's why!" But I take comfort in knowing this (Ephesians 3:20): "....By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
Yes, sometimes it seems like God places a stone wall on a crooked path. But maybe that's because I'm not praying the right prayer. I'm thankful for a God who knows better than I do what's best for me. I can trust him because he has shown himself to me in times past. Waiting is never easy, but when I think about what I can accomplish on my own, and what God can accomplish through me, I'm willing to wait. Two marshmallows are always better than one.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
God Thinks You're Beautiful
Sitting at my computer, I typed frantically, trying to get the words down before I forgot them. I was oblivious to everything going on at home. I needed to get my work done. My youngest daughter tapped my leg. She bounced up and down. "Mom," she said, "Do you know that God thinks you're beautiful?"
I paused for a second. God thinks I'm beautiful? I bent down and gently kissed my daughter's forehead. I felt a smile creep to my lips. What a wonderful interruption! What prompted it?
At the moment, I felt neither ugly nor beautiful, but I welcomed the pause. My other daughter is in middle school, and she would never admit it, but she often feels awkward and gangly. The girls in her class judge each other ruthlessly. She agonizes over her clothes and hair and who she will sit with at lunch. I hope she remembers that God thinks she's beautiful. I hope that God interrupts her negative thoughts and reminds her that he thinks she's beautiful. He made her, he loves her, and he thinks she is beautiful.
And on days when I'm feeling ugly, I pray I'll remember that God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm short with my kids, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm behind on my chores, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I compare myself to other moms, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I over-commit and under-deliver, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm tired and grouchy, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I am anything but beautiful, God thinks I'm beautiful.
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
I love that verse. It's a reminder that our duty is to praise God for what he has made. Each and every one of us is a wonderful work of art. Let's all be as candid and frank as the toddler: "Do you know that God thinks you're beautiful?" Yes, he thinks you're beautiful. Just the way you are. You are not defined by your wrinkles, your gray hair, your husband, your job, or your kids. You are exactly as you should be, wonderful because the one who made you is wonderful, beautiful because the one who made you is beautiful.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song by Gungor--whenever I need a little reminder.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY
I paused for a second. God thinks I'm beautiful? I bent down and gently kissed my daughter's forehead. I felt a smile creep to my lips. What a wonderful interruption! What prompted it?
At the moment, I felt neither ugly nor beautiful, but I welcomed the pause. My other daughter is in middle school, and she would never admit it, but she often feels awkward and gangly. The girls in her class judge each other ruthlessly. She agonizes over her clothes and hair and who she will sit with at lunch. I hope she remembers that God thinks she's beautiful. I hope that God interrupts her negative thoughts and reminds her that he thinks she's beautiful. He made her, he loves her, and he thinks she is beautiful.
And on days when I'm feeling ugly, I pray I'll remember that God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm short with my kids, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm behind on my chores, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I compare myself to other moms, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I over-commit and under-deliver, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm tired and grouchy, God thinks I'm beautiful. When I am anything but beautiful, God thinks I'm beautiful.
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
I love that verse. It's a reminder that our duty is to praise God for what he has made. Each and every one of us is a wonderful work of art. Let's all be as candid and frank as the toddler: "Do you know that God thinks you're beautiful?" Yes, he thinks you're beautiful. Just the way you are. You are not defined by your wrinkles, your gray hair, your husband, your job, or your kids. You are exactly as you should be, wonderful because the one who made you is wonderful, beautiful because the one who made you is beautiful.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song by Gungor--whenever I need a little reminder.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
5 Things That Will Revolutionize Your Friendships
Trust
This one is obvious. If you can't trust your friends, what's the point of having them? You want to be able to share your secrets and confess your fears in confidentiality. When someone says, "Your heart is safe with me" and means it, you know that you can trust them. Hang on to that person. A trustworthy person is a mature person.
Accountability
Accountability equals responsibility. And this simple principle works both ways. When you're working toward a goal, your accountability partner will help you pursue what's important. The friend that values accountability will not allow you to stray too far off your projected course.
Encouragement
No one has ever complained that they were over-encouraged. We all want someone to believe in us. Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right". Make friends that believe the best about you.
Inspiration
Music, books, and even TV and movies can all serve to inspire people to do great things. But I think real people probably do more to inspire others to join them in changing the world than anything else. If someone else can do the impossible, then by golly, so can you!
Challenge
Growing people change. A good friend will challenge you to expand your horizons. He/she will push you to increase your capacity. Surround yourself with people who understand your strengths and challenge you to use them to do more, give more, be more. Lucky is the person who has been double-dog dared to dream big dreams.
This one is obvious. If you can't trust your friends, what's the point of having them? You want to be able to share your secrets and confess your fears in confidentiality. When someone says, "Your heart is safe with me" and means it, you know that you can trust them. Hang on to that person. A trustworthy person is a mature person.
Accountability
Accountability equals responsibility. And this simple principle works both ways. When you're working toward a goal, your accountability partner will help you pursue what's important. The friend that values accountability will not allow you to stray too far off your projected course.
Encouragement
No one has ever complained that they were over-encouraged. We all want someone to believe in us. Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right". Make friends that believe the best about you.
Inspiration
Music, books, and even TV and movies can all serve to inspire people to do great things. But I think real people probably do more to inspire others to join them in changing the world than anything else. If someone else can do the impossible, then by golly, so can you!
Challenge
Growing people change. A good friend will challenge you to expand your horizons. He/she will push you to increase your capacity. Surround yourself with people who understand your strengths and challenge you to use them to do more, give more, be more. Lucky is the person who has been double-dog dared to dream big dreams.
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