Margin-(al)!

Remember being a kid and wailing "I'm boorrreeddd!"  like every ten minutes?  It would drive your parents crazy, but not really because they would just say something like, "Go outside and find something to do," and the crazy thing was that you actually would.

Now, you're the one who's married with a couple of kids, but you've never heard those words because your child takes dance lessons, plays soccer, is a girl scout, and participates in an after-school Spanish class.  Who has time to say, "I'm bored"?

You know I'm kidding.  You've heard those words, but when you tell your kids to go outside and find something to do, they can't.  They don't know how.  Since the day they were born, you've been scheduling every hour of their day.  It started with a bottle every three hours, a nap twice a day, tummy time, and a baby music class and has progressed to school, lessons, sports, homework, etc.

It's a widely accepted notion that creativity happens in the margin of our lives.  Books and blogs and seminars have all been written about the in-between space of our lives where the best ideas and projects emerge.  We want it so badly, but we're afraid if we don't do all this stuff, life is going to pass us by.

What if, instead of it passing you by you were able to lead the way, and by doing so embrace the life you've always wanted?

I think that's why we always see college kids and young adults forging the path of innovation. It's the over-40 crowd that has become stuck in their ways, unable to adapt.

Long ago we met someone, perhaps the love of our lives, and suddenly the bicycle built for one became a bicycle built for two.  Before we knew it, our comfortable cruiser gave way to one with a child's seat and an alley cat on the back.  Riding used to be easy.  You could explore wild terrain and take risks with no hands, but now there's all this responsibility.  You don't want to screw it up; you're an achiever for goodness sake!  You lead your child's scout troop, become the room mom, team mom, and carpool mom.  You have all these commitments, but you're over-committed.  Over-committing means just that.  You've OVER-committed.  You missed the mark.  And unfortunately you haven't really committed to anything.

The worst part is that you're missing out on so much more than the obvious extra time.  The whole Bible can be summed up in these two sentences:  Love God.  Love others.  We think that's what we're doing by volunteering to attend every meeting, providing free childcare and snacks for every kid in the neighborhood, and organizing every team roster.  None of these things are inherently wrong, but by filling your plate with a big 'ol pile of urgent stuff, you don't have any time left for what's important.

I used to be the biggest culprit of all.  Since I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom, I convinced myself that if I didn't stay busy 100% of the time, I was wasting time.  I didn't need one more reason to receive a patronizing look from a mom with a job. Instead, I would make my family my career, and so like any good employee I began looking for ways to be productive.  I wasn't punching a time clock or participating in an annual review, but all the things I was doing served to fill my "mom" resume.  I could cook and clean AND organize a class party.  I could do the shopping and pay the bills AND lead an after-school activity.  I could wash the clothes and walk the dog AND volunteer for a civic organization.

I wasn't wasting time, but I was wasting away.  When school started this year, I resolved to get serious about the things I wanted to do. The white space on my agenda is akin to the most beautiful art I've ever seen.  My youngest is in school three mornings a week.  One of these days is reserved to volunteer or visit with a friend, one is for Bible Study, and one belongs to me.  I look forward to every single day because I know that I'm doing not only what I want to do, but also what God has called me to do.  That big white spot on my calendar beckons me to write this blog, or to bake my favorite cookies, or my personal favorite--take a little nap.

As my margin gets bigger, I am able to see more clearly the other things that are written there.  I am able to devote more of myself to each and every one of them.  I stand amazed that I actually have more time, not less.  Best of all, I don't need to prove myself to anybody.