How Hard Can It Be?

"It's not that hard."

It's a mantra I say over and over again, mostly to convince myself that the majority of life's trials just aren't that difficult.   Yes, I've had hard days.  For any of you who read my post on the woes of homework, you know I don't have it all together.

"How do you do it?" I'm often asked.  I don't know why people ask me that.  I'm a stay-at-home mom with four kids.  Just one is still at home with me during the day, and even then just two days a week.  I don't home-school.  I don't have a full-time job.  I have a housekeeper who comes once a week.  I'm a little obsessive-compulsive, and I'm never bored.  I stay busy.  All the time.  But really.  Compared to many moms I know,  truly what I have going on here is not that hard.  To those that work long hours, come home to a messy house, care for their children and husband and drop into bed empty and exhausted, I commend you.  Yes, your life is hard.  My hope for you, though, is that your life is also full of joy.

But here's the kicker.  Don't be fooled by the lie that says that contentment is contingent on balance.   Not true, my friends.  The real secret to keeping things on the right track isn't balance; it's prioritizing.  Specifically, it's about prioritizing gratitude.   When you plan ahead, when you make a conscious, intentional decision to give thanks even BEFORE the consequences of your choices become manifest, you say to God, "Thank you for these kids.  Thank you for the laundry.  Thank you for the homework."  Truthfully, I'm not necessarily saying thank you for it.  I'm saying thank you that I'm in it.  For now, this is the place God has me.

"Thank you because you're God (priority one), and you gave me (these kids, homework, house, etc.) for a purpose (gratitude)."

Balance says it's okay to eat ice cream and cookies.  In moderation.  Balance says it's okay to work long hours as long as your time at home is quality time.  Balance says I deserve this dress.  I've been good with my bank account all month.  In moderation, people.

And all those things are okay, but balance is tricky.  It doesn't take much to upset it.  A little too much, and the waistline stretches.  Reality is blurred.  Money is tight.  And you have to start all over again.  What if, instead, you said, "I'm prioritizing my body.  I'll treat myself on Saturday night?"  How would your life be different if you said, "God, thank you for this family.  I understand that the time I spend with them has an eternal impact.  I'm drawing the line at 45 hours/week?"  What if you got to that spiritual place where you could say, "God thank you for clothing me.  I'm not going to spend money on myself until I've given what I have to others?"

The problem with "moderation" is that it's subjective, and the boundary lines are varied.  For me, having ice cream once a month might define moderation, but you might enjoy the cool treat once a week, and my friend down the street might think once a day is okay.  Where do we draw the line?  By focusing on priorities and gratitude, we acknowledge God first and his role in taking care of us.

Does that mean I'm complacent?  Absolutely not!  But I am content, and here's why:

Matthew 6: 31-33.  "So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?'  or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. "


So I say it's not that hard.  But I also want to be a person who "does hard things."  There's a big difference between complacency and contentment.  By analyzing the opposite, we can define both.  Discontent says "My life lacks joy" while a person who is not complacent says, "There's surely more to life."  God gives us what we need.  That's why I'm content.  He promises us what we desire.  That's why I'm not complacent.  Real joy is found when my desires fall in line with what God desires for me.

I remain content because God is in control of the minutiae and the mundane as well as the magnificent and miraculous.  I get to participate in both .  Jeremiah 29:11-14: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you and hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity."  While I might once have felt that I was being held captive by my situation, the reality is that my negative thoughts and attitude kept me from the freedom and fulfillment I desired. 


So, while I'm joyful, I will never be happy with the way things are.  Why?  Because God has a plan for my life.   The only way to get there, though, is to DO HARD THINGS.   I have those words emblazoned on my keychain.  God created me for a purpose, for something holy and beautiful, and I don't want to waste a single day being complacent about the way things are, not when what could be is beyond my wildest imagination.  The freedom of fulfillment in a life of a contentedness is attainable.

Ephesians 5:16--Be careful, then, how you live--not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  How do you do this?  It's not that hard.  You can choose to make excuses, or you can choose to make a difference. 

Contentment is accepting the blessing of today.  Priscilla Shirer, author of the Bible Study, Resolution for Women, puts it this way: " It's a holy equilibrium.  A genuine gratitude for what the day brings, all the while maintaining a controlled anticipation for what tomorrow may offer."  And so I wait...patiently, expectantly, prayerfully.

Lord, I pray that you will lead me to discover the opportunities that today brings.   And in the meantime, I will give you thanks for giving me this day, no matter what it brings.

Now, that's hard.