One morning, a few weeks ago, Gavin and I hiked to a place called the House of Dreams. It's a three mile hike to the top of the mountain. All along the way, there are teasing signs that signify the top is close at hand. We approached a small clearing. Light poured through the trees. As I treaded closer, I thought, "Oh, I'm there!" But no, that clearing teased me. We continued to circle the mountain. A little while later, we crested a small hill, and a stone wall emerged. Surely, this was the entrance to the House of Dreams. And yet the top of the hill still eluded us.
Walking hand in hand, we continued our journey. I didn't mind the steady climb. Gavin told me about some boys at camp who are "tapped out" for a special assignment called the The Little Chief Test. The boys undergo a 24-hour challenge that includes a silence ban, building a fire with one match, and a run up this mountain, among other things. They begin the test at midnight the night before and start the run covered in smut from their fires and exhausted from lack of sleep. As we continued our walk, Gavin pointed out various landmarks. He showed me where the various "legs" of the run began and also where many of the boys often give up.
As he was explaining this, we trampled over one last gravelly incline and there ahead of us stood the driveway to the House of Dreams. Finally! The house was modest, yet breathtaking because it's surrounded by lush grass, a lovely garden and a beautiful view of the surrounding mountains. As we crested the hill, my eyes drank in the beauty from the perspective of that secluded hilltop. I could see for miles! The clouds blanketed the horizon in billowy beauty. We perched ourselves on a quaint old tree swing, basking in the breeze of a gorgeous fall day. If only those boys had known that they were that close, I bet they wouldn't have given up!
I began to think back through the years--projects I began but never finished, friendships I pursued but didn't cultivate, and dreams I played out in my head, but never realized in life. I wonder how close I had been to the end? I wonder what I missed because I gave up too soon. I reflected on the obstacles and wondered if I made the right decisions.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says Commit thy way unto the Lord and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I have always loved that verse, but it took on new meaning for me that day. How many times had I committed to a project or made plans to pursue something based on my own understanding of what lay ahead of me? How many times had I become sidetracked, strayed off course, or stumbled across a roadblock in my pursuit of success and happiness? Like those boys, I couldn't see the future. I felt tired. My legs couldn't carry me to the top of the mountain. I wasn't where I was supposed to be because I didn't ask God to show me the way.
The good news is that in the last three years, I have seen God answer my prayers by showing me clearly the way he wants me to go. I've prayed, "God, show me my place here" and he has done it. I've prayed, "Lord, give me friends who will help me be more like you" and he has done it. As I have leaned in God's direction, he has made my paths straight. When I look at him, I can see more clearly where to go. The path isn't curvy, and I can begin by going confidently in the direction of his leading. I'm not scared. I don't worry about what I cannot see. It's enough for me that God sees, and he is with me.
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